[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R8tRKIiAII&w=640&h=480]
The following is written with all respect to Andrew Lloyd Webber….
I would suggest you read as you listen and then perhaps listen again as you read the lyrics below. That way you may get a better flavor of the utter absurdity.
Today I went for one of my periodical walks. Something my wife constantly advocates for and something I typically find very low on the priority list much to her justifiable chagrin. But being a student of the esteemed barrister, Horace Rumpole, who practiced his art in the ‘Old Bailey’ and recited the humorous and often very insightful words penned by his creator John Mortimer, I learned a long time ago it is best to be mindful of our wives as “She, who must be obeyed”. So, with that in mind, and when I feel the real need to clear my mind, on occasions I will take a walk.
During my walk today I decided to listen to songs from my iPhone. This is also something that is very rare as I am finding more and more as I get older, there are certain habits that I am just not assimilating. Listening to music in some sonic cocoon as I move through my day is not an activity where I have found comfort. In fact I was about to turn the music off when one of the random songs—isn’t shuffle a wonderful thing?—played that I have not heard in quite a while.
Years ago a friend of mine named John Colleary and I were scheduled to take two beautiful women to see the premier of Jesus Christ Superstar at the newly opened Kennedy Center in Washington DC. Being in high school, and growing up in St. Mary’s County, we were of the opinion that to go to the theater required high fashion. We were to rent tuxes and the girls were to wear their finest long dresses to attend this Saturday afternoon matinée.
Providence, being what it is, my friend John driving home from a party the weekend before decided he was a herpetologist and as such was capable of picking up a snake off the highway at 11:30 at night. I am sure he was not drinking and alcohol played no part because we were law abiding respectful youths at this period of our life and of course as such would not drink!
So in his non-inebriated state, John the newly anointed herpetologist tried to pick up a copperhead in the black of night off of the black road bed. Needless to say, the copperhead got the better of the situation as his eyes were not clouded by the dark or the presence of alcohol—excuse me no alcohol, that John may have—excuse me HAD NOT, imbibed.
This action inured to my benefit. By the time the long awaited trip to see JCSS came John was still in the hospital trying not to lose his finger from the swelling and threatening gangrene. In the best redneck tradition, I did what any good friend would! I took his girlfriend and mine to the theater.
Picture this, a pimply faced, redneck kid from St. Mary’s County, dressed in a rented tuxedo, waking up the steps to the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts with two strikingly beautiful women in evening gowns, one on each of his arms—for a Saturday matinée. Yep!!! We were the only people dressed up. Despite this momentary fit of panic and embarrassment I quickly took note that those around us were trying to figure out who this kid could be with the two gorgeous companions. I rapidly regained my composure and we strutted in to see the performance. Needless to say, I enjoyed the experience immensely and it is one of the fonder memories of my youth.
So why is this important? What does it have to do with my walk? Well I’ll tell you…. The song that made its random appearance was “Heaven on Their Minds,” by the writer of Jesus Christ Superstar, Andrew Lloyd Webber. This was one of my favorite songs from the play, and I always have felt it was one of Barron Weber’s better efforts (he was knighted by the queen I think).
It immediately struck me that these lyrics were particularly apropos in this current political season. You see you can take the name of Jesus out of the song and replace it with any of the presidential contenders and you get a very appropriate story. It works for the current occupant of the casa blanca, as the Spanish call the White House. So with apologies to Sir Webber I have rewritten his lyrics. I chose to use the current president and some of the republican contenders just to show you how prescient it may be and how ludicrous our current system has become.
Click the player above and read the altered lyrics below along with the song. Make up your own if you want. Perhaps if we try to find some humor in the situation a solution will reveal itself. We can only hope.
My mind is clearer now
At last
All too well
I can see
Where we all
Soon will be
If you strip away
The myth
From the man
You will see
Where we all
Soon will be
Obama!
You’ve started to believe
The things they say of you
You really do believe
This talk of God is true
And all the good you’ve done
Will soon be swept away
You’ve begun to matter more
Than the things you say
Listen Gingritch
I don’t like what I see
All I ask is that you listen to me
And remember
You’ve been your right hand man all along
You have set them all on fire
They think they’ve found the new Messiah
And they’ll hurt you when they find they’re wrong
I remember when this Cain thing began
No talk of God then, we called him a man
And believe me
Our admiration for him hasn’t died
But every word he said that day
Got twisted ’round some other way
And they dumped him cause’ they think he lied
Romney our most famous son
Seems to-have have stayed a great unknown
Like his father making cars
He’d have made good
Rambler, Nash and AMC
Would have suited Mitt the best
He’d have caused nobody harm
No one alarm
Listen Bachmann, do you care for your race?
Don’t you see we must keep in our place?
We are occupied
Have you forgotten — one percent we are…?
I am frightened by the crowds
For they are getting much too loud
And they’ll crush us if we go too far
If we go too far
Listen Perry to the warning I give
Please remember that I want us to live
But it’s sad to see your chances weakening with ev’ry hour
All your followers are blind
Too much Ron Paul on their minds
It was beautiful, but now it’s sour
Yes it’s all gone sour
Ah — ah ah ah — ah
God with Obama, it’s all gone sour
Listen People to the warning I give
Please remember that I want us to live
So come on, come on, listen to us.
Ah — ah
Come on, listen, listen to us.
Come on and listen to us.
Ah — ah
Do you think the Andrew Lloyd Webber was having a vision of our destruction in the 60’s? Perhaps that is why the Queen knighted him in 1992. Maybe this is all a British plot to get back the colonies? Maybe Barak Obama is the Manchurian candidate after all—Maybe Ron Paul is the love child of Twiggy and Prince Charles. That could explain the slim physique, different viewpoint and ears!
Nahhhhh. Even England would not want us back at this point. They have enough problems of their own!
